Lumpy Nails

2 Sep


Why is it that the things that make wif want to blog the most are the things that make her very, very angry? Perhaps it is because wif so badly wants sweet revenge on whoever makes the cruddy things wants to protect you, oh happy reader, from similar anger-inducing events/ products.


Onto grumpy things:
The other day wif purchased a new and lovely looking thing at Wally World. It was a beautiful purple nail pen, specifically SALLY HANSEN COLOR QUICK FAST DRY NAIL PEN*, with promises of making my hands hand-model worthy, instant manicures that are completely stress-free, and a million dollars in every package

  • New fast dry nail color formula packaged in an easy-to-use, take anywhere spill-proof pen!
  • Just click to dispense color, brush on and go!
  • Handy application makes it easy to use anytime, anywhere.
  • Great for pedicures, too!


Sally Hansen, you sit on a throne of lies… I was full of excitement about this genius idea with such a kickin color. So I very meticulously applied the grape hue to my phalanges. And this was no easy task because the polish was spewing out like an unpredictable volcano and gopping up on impact. It took me a good twenty minutes to come any where near an acceptable coat. But guess what, even after half an hour of waiting patiently to jump on my husband go to sleep without fear of ruining my nails, they still got bumpy and gooey and icky in every way. ANGER. Nails are way too much work to cause so very much anger.

In summary: This is the single most annoying nail product wif has every laid my eyes on. Do not pay for such agony.


*Do not let the caps lock confuse you. It’s there as a RED FLAG – DO NOT BUY THIS THING IN CAPS LOCK. It is evil.


** Wif tried to find a hilarious picture of ugly bumpy nails for you. Sadly, this was a traumatizing experience and such google searches are better left alone. Yikes!
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